Darn cell phone

My cell phone is beginning to die. Last Friday I think it actually over-heated and then dropped the call I was on. I had to turn it off and on to get it to make and receive calls again. And it is not holding a charge like it should. You know that phase of a cell phone's life.

I wouldn't mind so much if it was not my ONLY phone right now. I also wouldn't mind so much if I didn't feel like the cell phone company just wants to suck more money out of me. I think they conspire against us with their two-year contracts and phones that they design to only last a year to a year-an-a-half and their *free* phone offer if you extend your contract another two years. It always makes me feel gouged.

And then there is that stupid message that means nothing and contains very long pauses. "123-456-7890 (paaaause) is not available. (paaaaause) Please leave a message after the tone. (paaaaause) To leave a callback number, press 5. (paaaaause) When you are finished, hang up, or press # for more options. (paaaause) beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"

On top of the pauses, she speaks veryyyyyy sllllowwwwwlyyyyyyyy.

I have a list of issues with this message.

1) It is long. Longer than necessary. In fact, I'd argue that it isn't necessary at all. Just go to the beep and I'll leave a message. Or, give the number or the name and so straight to the beep.

2) How many people have pushed 5? Ever? I never have. I don't even know why a callback number would be necessary. Numbers calling my phone come through in the caller ID. And if it doesn't, those who endured the message can leave it in the voice mail. Duh.

3) People who create their own message for their phone usually say something like: "Hi! You've reached (me). Leave a message and I'll call you back." So, duh. They've identified themselves and said they'd call you back. No need for the big long explanation after their message. Seems redundant.

4) She tells you to hang up after you've left your message. Was this a problem? People just never hung up? I doubt it. It feels like they are leaving instructions on how to leave a message. I don't know of too many people who have never left a message. My grandma has, my grandpa has, even my 3-year-old has. And I think it's safe to assume the vast majority of people in between have. In the 25+ years that message machines have been around, I think it's safe to assume most people know what they are doing by now.

5) I need to figure out how to get that message off of there. But that isn't easy, either. If you are trying to do it, you have to go through 17 different 12-option menues to get there and then you get cut off because your phone has over heated and drops the call. Cripes.

And don't get me started on all the options now. I don't like flip phones. I'm not into the full keypad. I don't want a touch screen. And I don't need a phone with a camera. Flip phones feel like they are going to break in half to me and all the rest of the options just seem like fluff. I just want a phone that makes calls, holds its charge, doesn't overheat, and rings when someone is calling me. But I'm sure that would cost me an arm and a leg.