Kayaks!

My parents and two brothers (with their families) came over this weekend.  And since we haven't been enjoying summer like we normally like to (trips, moving, etc. take a lot of energy! And I'm embarrassed that I haven't blogged more than once a month for the last four months!), we thought we'd go enjoy the lake.

Mom and dad have a new kayak.  And a great friend of ours loaned us three of theirs.  Since mom and dad hadn't used theirs yet, they actually debated breaking a bottle of beer across the bow to christen it.  But they decided not to waste the beer and saved it for after we got home.

Brent and I went on a date.

Actually, it was something like 30 minutes paddling around the lake. 

But hey, that's about as close to a date as we've had since all the kids were in Sunday School or sitting with grandma at church for 15 minutes two years ago or something.

We take up a lot of shore line.  So nice to go enjoy the sun!

Daddy took Calla out in the kayak.  She was pretty scared at first, but decided it was fun. 

At least until daddy lost his hat and tried to reach it and almost tipped over.

Grace took every chance she could to get in and on the water.  She was all over it and had a great time.

Speaking of kayaks.  How about a YAK? 

What?

Doesn't everyone bring their YAK to the lake with them? 

No? 

Oh, well this guy must think pretty highly of his yak.

It's name is McCloud.  And it apparently likes to get in the house too.  I only know that because I asked, sarcastically of course, if it slept in his bed. 

Oh, and he has something like four dozen yaks.

And if you google "yak" you get a lot of "kayak." 

I'm thinking that kaYAKing is a once in a lifetime experience.

And a date with your husband after four kids is a once in a blue moon or so experience.

 I love this guy.  He even let me go shopping with my mom and sister-in-law while he stayed home with everyone else and started dinner.  I found a great sweater and a new purse to replace my awesome red one that Carsten broke the zipper on. 

KaYAKing.  HA!  I'm going to laugh about this for a LONG time. 

She's the most beautiful 9-year-old I know

As of today, my first born is NINE!  And she is super excited about it. 

 

 

Of course, she's graceful about it. We had a little impomtu birthday party for her with two presents. One from Calla and one from us.

 

Calla gave her the cutest present.  She glued a plastic heart back onto a crown that was part of a Halloween costume a couple years ago and gave it to her all fixed.  She gave her a card that she wrote "I love you 100" in.  She's been saying things like, "I like it 100 percent!" lately and the card was so cute.  And she drew a little picture of Grace on the horse, folded it up, folded it into another piece of paper and stuck it to a giant bow.  And then she smiled and beamed the whole time Grace went through the package. 

 

We gave her what she wanted.  She's been asking for a stereo since her last one broke.  She also asked for a couple CDs.  "The relaxing ones like we have in the car." 

 

At this moment my beautiful nine-year-old is sitting in the livingroom reading while listening to a CD of classical piano music.  She mused, "They must have four hands to play like that, mom." 

 

"It's just a lot of practice, I said. "And speaking of, you need to do that today."

 

But she's just sitting there reading still.  And I'm going to leave her there so I can see her sitting there while I make her birthday dinner--spagetti. 

 

Happy Birthday, Grace.  You get more beautiful by the day!

 

Birthday number TWO for the baby boy!

My baby boy is two. 

Here he is with his face over the candles blowing them out.  He was so excited! Actually, this was the third time he blew them out.  The first two times were premature.

Handsome little boy!

Instead of cake, we made peach ice cream in my blender.  Frozen peaches, some cream, a little maple syrup, and a little vanilla.  Blend until smooth.  Put in little bowls and add two candles.  Everyone is happy and I didn't have to make a cake.  Or more accurately, I didn't have to clean up the cake mess!

And for his birthday he got a COWBOY HAT from his great grandma.  (Yes, he has ice cream on his face . . . )

An appaloosa horse from his sisters.  (He will tell you it's an appaloosa.  Smart boy.)

And (not pink) cowboy boots from his mom and dad. 

He's all set.  Except here he's telling us, "I need belt!"  But he pronounces it "b-ewt."

The kid knows what is going on.  And he's not afraid to tell you. We all giggled for a while over that one. And he was so mad at me because I took his hat before he ruined it so we could get him a bigger size tomorrow.  The kid has a big head.

Maybe that happens when you are the only boy.

And the youngest. 

And this darn cute.

Happy Birthday baby boy!

International Babywearing Conference, 2012--Awesome

This post originally published on the Babywearing International Blog.  And since I was the one who wrote it, I thought I'd put it here, too.  Hoping to get my other fun stuff up here soon, too!



Sometimes in life there are moments that should simply not be missed. Things that can never be repeated. I have several of those experience in my life, including when my babies were fresh, still wet, snuggled in on my heart cavity. It's those feelings you need to soak in and burn into your emotional memory so you can call them up later and revel in it all over again.

The Capitol! I was lucky enough to get one of the *special* tours thanks to a friend who has a connection through a Senator.

This last week at the International Babywearing Conference was one of those weeks. For two years, since I had helped plan the previous babywearing conference in Rigby, Idaho only to pretty much miss the entire thing, I have told my husband on a regular basis that I wanted to go to Washington D.C. to the next conference.

My husband loves me and he spearheaded the effort to make it happen. We got my tickets and he took a week off work to take care of the kids while I flew across the country to soak in the babywearing wisdom and the sights of our Capitol.

It was a week of wondering how it could possibly get any more amazing only to turn around and find that it just did. Much of what I learned and soaked in merely reinforced from a different angle what I have come to know and believe in regards to babywearing. But I also found some new, fresh and exciting perspectives that got me excited all over again.

First, babywearing is essential to new mothers who are learning to be mothers. With babywearing, new mothers are able to exercise (walk), take care of their new baby, take care of themselves, and take care of those around them. Exercise has been proven over and over again to be as effective at fighting depression as medication. Being successful at this new role while at the same time being able to take care of what they were taking care of before the baby was born makes the new mom feel like she can handle this new role. These feelings of success build a strong foundation that can keep her from slipping into a postpartum depression that she can't dig herself out of.

I learned that not only does the baby need the mother's body (as its natural environment), but the mother's body needs the baby just as much. If the baby is not with the mother, the mother's body actually believes the baby is dead and reacts accordingly. This disrupts the intended sequence of events and can cause issues with bonding and nursing and lead to a whole host of problems.

To go with that, I learned that there are three kinds of mammals. There are 'nest dwelling' mammals, like cats, that give birth to babies that have their eyes closed and can't move around much. Kittens are also quiet when left alone and are not feeding.

The second type is 'parent followers' like horses. These babies are fully developed, walk shortly after birth and if they are separated, both the baby and the mother seek to be reunited.

Humans were originally plunked into the nesting category. But then a third category was added: Carried young. In this category babies cannot follow the parents, their eyes are open and they are able to cling. Other members of this category are primates and marsupials. The mother and baby are made in a way that facilitates carrying.

The importance of touch and movement to these carried young was reinforced by the 1970s era documentary Rock-a-Bye Baby by Time Life films. Basically, removing even one of these elements made monkeys separated from their mothers at birth fearful, anxious and even aggressive. But even monkeys without mothers that were given the options of touch AND movement were much more normally developed than those that were not. Removing both elements resulted in monkeys that displayed symptoms of severe neglect, including rocking incessantly and aggression towards themselves.

In one class, it was stressed that it is not the carrier that makes the difference. It's the carrying. In-arms carrying will have the same results as the fanciest carrier (used correctly) will have.

One point that the film made was that we do not know how important a single element is until it is removed. This was an interesting angle on another thought I had--what we will NOT regret. By this I mean that I will NOT regret NOT giving into pressure to wean before I think it's time. I will regret giving up because I can't get that back. I will NOT regret investing in 1-2 comfortable, quality carriers and learning to use them to keep my babies close. I will regret letting that feeling that maybe I'll look weird govern my choice to ignore my curiosity.

Then I met Masayo Sonoda from Japan. She is in Japan trying to change the parenting culture. After the devastating tsunami she realized that in the next four years Japan will be experiencing MANY earthquakes. It is her goal to bring babywearing back to the mainstream so that WHEN (not if) those earthquakes strike, people have the skills to, without thinking, tie their children on themselves with whatever is handy and escape quickly and safely. If these parents are not proficient in using carriers in their daily lives, they will not be able to do that. Her goal is to make it happen.

This is me with Masayo Sonoda. Somehow her use of the fabric square is much neater than my effort to contain my Amauti. It was my second exposure to Furoshiki, a Japanese method of tying, at the conference. I *may* have suggested it as a class for the next conference.

Traditionally, the Japanese culture used gorgeous carriers to carry their babies. But as the country modernized, this skill was lost. The Japanese story is one that is common all over the world. But what we have learned is that even though the culture changes, the needs of babies do not change. Babies still need to be carried.

To advocate the practice of babywearing, we are changing the culture. Even if we are changing culture one family and one baby at a time, we are still changing culture. I met one mom a the conference who told me her heart wrenching story of how she sunk into and made it out of postpartum depression that was so severe she was hospitalized four times in a psychiatric unit. She was a brand new mom in a new community and had no real connections and her family was 1500 miles away. We will never know what could have prevented her experience, but it simply reinforces my goal to create a warm, welcoming, helpful environment at my monthly meetings. Expecting and new parents are there looking for tools to make their journey what they want it to be. It's my job to help them. It goes back to what we will NOT regret. We will NEVER regret helping a new parent discover the joy of carrying their baby. We will NEVER regret giving a new parent the tools they need to be functional again. We will NEVER regret seeing that look a new parent gets when it all clicks and their world opens back up to them again. We will NEVER regret giving them "permission" to go with their instincts. Even if it doesn't seem to help at the time, it is our job to share with them what we have worked so hard to learn for ourselves even if it doesn't seem to help during that moment.

This story ends well. We sat in a restaurant in Washington D.C. and listened to her story while she sat eating ice cream with a sleeping baby on her back. She also stressed that she was there, having taken the Metro several stops from where she parked her car, without a diaper bag! And she was okay with that! She was showing the world who was boss once again. Needless to say, I bought her that bowl of ice cream. It was the least I could do.

As I flew out of Washington D.C., I was thinking that really this trip could not have gone any better. It was phenomenally full of incredible people and incredible experiences I will never forget. I am on fire again. And honestly, I feel that by going and having the grand experience I did, I was able to honor all the people who went out of their way to make it happen for me. This includes my husband and his family, my children, my amazing friends and family both at the conference and at home, and in Oregon and Washington. It includes all the people involved in planning the conference and their support systems, the instructors and the people who showed up to share the journey. I am utterly overwhelmed by my experience and will do my best to pass the gift of babywearing someone gave me nearly nine years ago onto others. This I will NEVER regret.

Me and one of my sweet babywearing friends I got to hug a bunch at the conference. My life has been enriched on so many different levels thanks to babywearing!

--Heidi Donnelly
BWI Board of Directors

Up from the ashes

I have a these two friends.  They don't know each other.  But one I've known since kindergarten and the other is one of my mom friends I met when Grace was tiny.  Both of them are super sweet, super talented, super smart, and just great people to know and have in your life.  Both of them have a couple kids about the age of my kids.  I also lost touch with them over the last few moves.  Not on purpose and not because I don't like them.  Both of them are also the kind of people that you just pick up where you left off.  I love them.

The last couple years have been tough on them both.  Both of them had their marriage end in divorce.  That in and of itself is a lot to deal with, especially with a couple kids in the mix. 

Lisa, my mom friend, kind of fell off the planet.  It's what she does when she's dealing with hard stuff.  I missed her and tried to touch bases with her every once in a while.  I rarely heard back, but that didn't really matter.  I just needed her to know I was still thinking of her and still loved her.  I knew enough to figure that her marriage wasn't going well and was probably ending.  And that was okay.  I also knew enough to know that she wasn't going to let it just happen without trying nearly everything in her power to make it work. 

My friend Stacey and I go way back.  Back to kindergarten.  We have a lot of great history.  She lives in the town we grew up in and teaches school there.  I was in her wedding and our oldest daughters were born just days apart.  She cheated, though, because she was induced.  Two years ago I learned that she and her husband were separated and headed for divorce.  I'll be honest, I really have no idea what happened other than bits and pieces I've picked up from mutual friends.  And I have never really asked.

It always makes me sad when I see marriages end.  Especially if I've been personally rooting for them.  But I guess divorce is a fact of this fallen world.  It just sucks. 

But the last few months have been great for my two friends and it's brought me so much joy to watch them both raise from the ashes.  First, Lisa emerges from her cave and takes her flamingo by the ankles and shows it who's boss.  She started writing, something she is really quite good at, declared to the world that she wanted a big tricycle, and landed her dream job.  She emailed me when she got word that she was hired telling me she was so excited she might just pee her pants.  I was that excited FOR her.  But I was even more excited that I got to hear her voice and she actually calls me back!  Funny how you don't realize how much you miss someone until they are back in your life. 
Then I catch wind that Stacey is getting married.  Apparently she met this guy at church and after a whirlwind courtship, they decided to get married.  After contemplating it for roughly five minutes, I told Brent that I needed to go to the wedding.  I need to be there to support my sweet friend in her new life.  I need her to know that I love her and want her to be happy.  I hadn't met this guy, but he has a nice smile.  I called our other friend-since-kindergarten to tell her that I'm going.  Bonus that I get to see her, too!  Without kids.  Double bonus that her husband bought a Porsche just days before the wedding--after I told her I'd be her date!  The wedding was really nice.  Her new husband seems like a nice guy and I look forward to getting to know him.  I got to hug Stacey and tell her that I really do love her and want her to be happy.  I may have even shed a few tears.  I also got to hug her mom and share a few tears. 

And I got a ride in a Porsche.  But that wasn't the point of this post.  That was just a bonus.  Thanks Sara!  One more thing I didn't know was on a bucket list I don't have.  But I'll be sure to check it off.

The point of this post is to tell my two Phoenix friends that I love them, unconditionally.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to know that I have really loved watching them raise from the ashes that they found themselves in.  I have loved watching them take their lives back and I am praying for them both.  You two have made my life richer.  And I smile when I think of you both.  Keep on keepin' on.  And come see me!  We have some catchin' up to do!!!!

Ducks!!! They are growing like crazy!

Guest blogger Grace is here again to tell you all about her duck adventure.  We've been having so much fun with these crazy birds. 

_______________________________________________________________________

My seven ducks that we ordered are between three and four weeks old.  This is a picture of two of my ducks when we got them. 

This is a pictures of me and one of my ducks when it was three weeks old.  

The ducks grew a lot in those three weeks. 

This is a picture of my ducks when Circles was a few days old. 

The other ducks decided Circles is a part of their flock even though he is smaller.  I think the other ducks thought that he looked enough like them that he was okay.

I think Circles is a he.  But we don't know yet. 

When it is warm enough we go outside and give the ducks play time.  We made a little pen out of hay bales and we put a tub of water in it so they could play in the water.  It was too deep for Circles, so he swam.

They like to chew on the grass and splash in the water.  They are fun to watch.

In this picture you can see Circle's webbed feet. 

We play with them so they can get used to us and when I show them they won't go crazy.  I like my ducks a lot. ( I took the pictures of Circles swimming.)

I'm a duck's mama!

Grace, my guest blogger, tells you more about her adorable little duck.

_______________________________________


This is a picture of me with my ducky.  This is the first time I got to hold it.

It was still a little bit wet when I held it for the first time last night.

I am naming the duck Circles, and its nickname is Lucky Ducky.

Today I got to play with it in the house before we took it out to the barn.  Its favorite spot is on my shoulder. It thinks I'm its mama.

It likes to peck and nibble at my earring and play in my hair. 

It got tangled in my hair once.

Ducks are very fun!  Especially when they are babies!